Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Space Jam gets Slammed (A Salty Review)

 ( The following article will contain Lebron Memes)

Space Jam: A New Legacy is an awful movie, so is the original. There I said it, but there was something likable about it. There are things to like about this one as well, but they are very far in between. This movie should have been a Slam dunk, but somehow it was a brick. Yes, I get that it's a family film, and the target audience is kids, but it doesn't have to be poorly written. Lebron James might be the king of the court, but this movie just has him standing in Jordan's shadow.

The movie begins with Lebron James preparing his sons for basketball camp. While his eldest is primed and ready, his middle son Darius isn't interested at all. He is more focused on making a video game that is more along the lines of NBA Jam. Lebron, always being pushed to be the best, tries to use the same tactic on his son to no avail. Meanwhile, at Warner Bros studios, they are preparing to upgrade their streaming service by featuring Lebron James. Digitally adding him to preexisting titles like Game of Thrones, The Matrix, etc., etc. The whole plan was conceived by an A.I. have known as Al G. Rhythm ( algorithm ). Who wants to be famous?

The A.I. played by Don Cheadle. Lebron brings his son to the meeting to hear their pitch. It does not go well; he says that whoever made this is stupid, pissing off the program. Al kidnaps them and puts LeBron in looney toon land on the server verse aka (HBOMAX). He meets a lonely Bugs Bunny who tells him Al convinced the other toons to visit the other worlds like Roadrunner on Fury Road. Lebron wants to get together a new dream team using Superman, The Flash & King Kong, and many others. Bugs naturally want to bring back the tunes. Will they win the game, or will Lebron save Bugs Bunny? …… I don't really care. The movie might be formulaic,

but it's boring.

I'm all for family films, but this isn't good. The server verse, aka (HBOMAX), is an awful version of the Oasis from Ready Player One, ironically another Warner bros movie. I feel like the writers tried to take that premise and make it their own, but it comes off like a cheap knockoff. They both have moments featuring the Iron Giant and King Kong. The jokes fall flat. Kids are more intelligent than this. That's why Mitchells vs. the Machines is such a big hit across the board; the jokes work for everyone. They should have hired writers who work in comedy. Malcolm D Lee has directed great comedies like Girls Trip and Undercover Brother; they both had great comedic writers behind them where Space Jam has Lebron looking.

The best thing about the movie is the visual effects. 

I had to ignore the characters in the background cause the more you look at them, the worse they get. (Side Note: the guys on the right of the goon squad member are from a Clockwork Orange, a group a robbing, killing, raping lunatics, but yall wanna cancel Pepe Le Peu) This time around, the Goon Squad is based on current dominators of the court, male and female.


The Tune squad looks excellent with a C.G. update as well. I like Lolas look. I'm sure Zendaya didn't like the oversexualized design from before. Besides it for the children, right? I understand that this is just supposed to be a merchandising machine. I get that, but damn, spend a few more dollars on a comedic writer. The IMDB for this has six people on it!! If I was Lebron, I would have gone to another team.  

This is a crash and fails on multiple levels that not even a Rick and Morty cameo could save, and trust me, they tried. This movie feels soulless. It's missing something that the original had outside of just jokes. It feels like an extended advertisement for things on HBO MAX. It also feels soulless due to the lack of connection through music. Let's keep it real; one of the biggest draws for the original Space Jam was the soundtrack. "Fly Like an Eagle" by Seal, "Hit em High" with Busta Rhymes, Coolio, and L.L. Cool J, and in the new soundtrack, we have "Goin' Looney with Big Freeda." The new one has Lil uzi, Vert, doing his own version of "pump up the jam," which is okay but pales compared to "Basketball Jones" by Barry White and Chris Rock, a joke record. The artists on the new one are good Lil baby, Lil Wayne, Joyner Lucas, and John legend, but their songs are forgettable.

Meanwhile, people recently stopped having kids sing "I believe I can fly" by R Kelly, and it's not because of the song's quality. On the contrary, it seems like everything this movie did put it directly behind the original in almost every way. But hey, at least Lebron is a better actor.  


They had a decent blueprint, but the execution was its doom. I'm just so thankful it was on HBO MAX (which was literally the villain in the movie!!) cause I would not spend a dime on this film, the only thing it cost me was time, and there are no refunds on that. 

Space Jam: A New Legacy Final Grade : D- 


Post a Comment

Featured post

Set the whole web on fire- Madame Web review

  Madame Web is another stain on Sony’s sorry excuse of a Spiderman universe without Spiderman. Madame Web is a very interesting character t...